I decided to experiment with a hallucinogen by the name of LSD, which although I had consumed it in the past, I had never taken it in a setting where I am not accompanied by a friend. I decided to drop a small dose of ~200 micrograms at 5 o'clock in the evening and the high started off as I had expected; my sense of identity and conditioned thoughts were rapidly tearing away and I was starting to feel a sense of creative fluidity which I normally only experience in an optimal environment.

Shortly after it kicked in, all my senses started becoming overloaded by different frequencies, from passing cars on the road outside my window to the noise of other people in my house. Immediately, I was consumed by an overwhelming concoction of intense terror, panic and anxiety - it honestly felt like i was going to die. I began pacing up and down my room and started trying to figure out why I was experiencing these feelings. I started off by stumbling outside and seeing if I felt better in the fresh air, however this made me feel even less secure and it was almost like my mind would not stop these feelings unless I resolved the core problem of why I manifested it. I went back to my room and tried playing a game to take my mind off of it, but that didn't work, it wasn't a strong enough distraction.

For what seemed like hours, I was scrambling on and off my bed talking to myself in the attempt to calm myself down. I then turned off all electricity in the room and anything that wouldn't normally exist in a totally natural setting. If there was one positive feeling I had at the time, it was that my problem solving skills seemed to have shot up; the hallucinogen highlighted aggressively what was causing me to experience frustration in my environment at the time - I was now aware of everything that had an adverse affect on my minds natural state. Even closing a door in an abrupt way or making an abrasive sound would exacerbate my mental state and make it worse. Everything had to be in perfect balance.

Eventually, I managed to slowly shift into a more calm state of mind by repeatedly saying to myself that "everything is nice", in the kindest and most pleasant tone possible. Alongside that, I stopped resisting and pushing away the negative emotions, thus allowing them to simply pass through me, kind of like meditation. As the effect of the stimulant progressed, I was completely losing my sense of identity and normal day-to-day perception and I could no longer even feel the sensation between my skin and the duvet covers. It felt like I had melted into my surroundings - which was my thoughts at the time. My vision was fragmenting into a sort of pixelated view and, strangely, I began hallucinating and perceiving myself as some kind of never-ending pattern, like the image below. Any word I mutter would vibrate through my mind as if I was inside a highly sophisticated echoey hall with precise reverberations. This says a lot.

psychedelic-therapy

As it got to about 11pm, everyone in the house was asleep, there were less cars going by and the energy just felt calmer, I felt any remaining negative emotions fade away. I went to the bathroom and as I stood over the toilet I saw my shadow, and my mind starting mapping out and re-creating my identity. I started picturing myself as a cartoon character. Now that I was in this somewhat perfect mood, I began staring at myself in the mirror and ideas began pouring in my mind. I started pulling weird faces and playing with my hair and created different perspectives with the use of shadows and a torch, and any tiny nuance I had created in the mirror would look amazing to me, as if I had never seen it before.

cropped-cropped-3efa9c85451510d2024273a7fd0eff98.jpg

This was surely one of the most mind opening experiences in my life, and I would not have been able to realize the powerful and positive effect that having your environment in perfect balance gives you without the trip starting off as a terrifying one, as, after all, while on LSD it seems like you are a piece of mouldable clay and you literally blend into your environment and surroundings effortlessly... unless you are distracted by a television or whatever. However If you attempt to resist this or do not let all feelings flow through you, you then experience fear based emotions. You are placed into a duality between how you view things in a sober state and how you view things under LSD, which forces you into a harmonious state free of delusions as the truth is too dominant in this state of mind. It unpacks difficult emotions whether you like it or not.

We trick our minds on a day to day basis with the process of cognitive dissonance (this is how many people mentally cope), to rationalize contradictions or things that are simply ethically or morally wrong in the mind in order to experience a pleasant mental state, however while you are under the effects of LSD, these delusional rationalizations disappear and the true reality of your thoughts and environment manifest, which may have been why people like Steve Jobs claimed that it was one of the most important things they had ever done. It allows you to view things in a totally different perspective.

cognitive-dissonance

If you think about it, there are a lot of contradicting beliefs many people carry with them. These can range from something as simple as someone smoking cigarettes yet being aware that it is bad for them, to people that say they don't support animal cruelty yet pay money to industry's that kill billions of them per year simply for taste. It is no wonder that a vast amount of people have reported to have quit addictions and destructive behaviour when taking hallucinogens such as LSD, psilocybin mushrooms or ayahuasca in the correct setting. It breaks you from the normal rigid way of thinking and allows you to see things for what they are. Of course it is possible to break from a conventional way of thinking without hallucinogens, but in this busy world it may be difficult when everyone is constantly distracted by something, whether it's social media, tv or their phone; it's almost like many people just cannot bear to face reality so they need something to constantly sedate and cocoon themselves with.

My conclusion is that, in order to reach this level of psyche and creative fluidity/problem solving in a default state of mind, you have to work towards building an environment that resonates with you at the absolute most natural level. Your environment includes the people you live with, what you eat, and the things around you that effect your thoughts and mood; essentially anything that you feed your mind on a daily basis needs to actually serve you.

The most successful people are those that create something, not people that carry out meaningless tasks for fat men in red BMWs.

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I decided to blog about my change in food I eat and go more in-depth into my thought process as I think it could help some people form their own opinions, so here's my theory regarding veganism with implications of Cannabis, Drugs and Social Neuroscience. For the record, I'm not trying to tell people what to do, I'm just sharing my thoughts and knowledge.

Ever heard of the saying "Get 'em while they're young"? In order to be able to actually change something that you've been conditioned to do for years, or especially decades, you'll need to mentally detach yourself from your emotional fixations and beliefs (in my case, conventional food) which have been written into your belief system since an early age. The time it takes for someone to do this varies as everyone has their own boiling point. I suggest watching 'God is in the Neurons' which may require multiple viewings, for insight on belief systems - The idea of negatively prejudging people rather than trying to be objective, understanding and open-minded is made redundant and highlighted by social neuroscience as everyone does each action in life based on their 'story', upbringing and identity and are merely trying to understand things; I'm simply sharing my experience (from a seemingly detached point of view) on this lifestyle and I do not judge people who choose to eat or live differently. After learning from phenomena such as placebo effects and seeing how powerful they are, this leads me to think that a lot of concepts and beliefs we live up to in day-to-day life are overly hyped fabricated ideas in our head, validated by society.

One of the biggest impactful changes I did to my diet to start off was by drinking almond or hazelnut milk instead of cows milk because cows milk unfortunately has pretty shocking negative effects. If you do a little bit of research, especially articles that aren't paid for by the milk industry, you'll find that cow's milk is full of PUSS! This is the same stuff that is found in a white head on your face! These facts have surprisingly not been absorbed by mainstream society yet. They taste just as good if not better, especially once your taste buds have adapted. My entire smell and taste perception has changed drastically since switching what I eat and I don't even miss any foods that I used to eat. From my own experience it feels like dairy is the main thing that really messed with my mood. Other benefits I noticed are my hair being much thicker and taking much longer to get greasy, healthier skin, no body odor and pain in my joints from my RSI reduced massively. The dairy industry makes $11 billion per year from milk alone according to this study from 2011. A lot of information about dairy is underground and the industry makes sure it's hidden from mainstream society. If something is dodgy, it's usually because of money.

This product Vitamineral Green boosted my mood dramatically and it's so easy and convenient to use. (Update: I no longer use this product since I increased my fresh Fruit/Veg intake). It has almost everything you need and I just mix it with orange juice, energizing me for the entire day. I felt that it is somewhat of a gateway or catalyst towards this lifestyle. I'm not saying that you should replace what you eat with this powder, however, many gamers often play for long periods of time without eating and/or seek out 'convenient' fast food and this will help you get what you need for your brain to function properly. The positive effects from this when used consistently will eventually wire your brain to seek out healthier food, rather than food that sedates and suppresses your natural bodily and cognitive functions. You can find many people who are emotionally irritable and 'tilt' easily, from simply viewing a chat log in bronze league from the online competitive game 'League of Legends' (which is now an official sport). This game is more popular than many national sports and probably creates a lot of advocates with strong belief systems, which results in the whirlwind of toxicity you find in much of the LoL community.

If you're someone that switches to a vegan lifestyle from a heavy meat/dairy diet, your body will start detoxing and you'll feel pretty terrible at the start as a result. it's known to take 3 months for it to start taking a big effect on your mind and body, so it's probably best to do it gradually. At least two litres of water per day along with this is also vital and previously I was barely drinking any at all. Personally I just did it intuitively and realized that eating a lot of junk food and animal products was stopping me from being able to function normally. I'd say my diet is at least 95% vegan so far (soon to gravitate to 100%) and I feel much healthier.

It takes a huge amount of energy from your body to digest meat which was the primary reason i stopped eating it. I haven't been ill once since being on this lifestyle, even though it's winter. I guess that's mainly because I'm a nerd and don't leave my house though. 😉

As a result of dramatically increased mental clarity and a happier mood from this lifestyle, i felt more like giving to a good cause rather than feeding my own ego. Helping other people naturally creates cycles of similar behavior in society and by observing different cultures and sub-cultures, this has become more apparent to me. From a young age most people are told that they "need to think about earning money and their career" and this primarily selfish notion is constantly reinforced upon you by older generations of people and baked into your head.. but is this really the best mindset? From my experience on YouTube when I was more active back in ~2011 and observing it leading up to 2013, capitalistic notions seemed to have reached a point where things that company's do to 'save face' and make money have become so ridiculous that it's somewhat disorienting. Here's an example of where a games developer tries to censor a review of their game that is putting it in a bad light by a well known Youtube video creator who is doing nothing but giving his honest, justified opinion on their game.

Cannabis recreational use has a much richer euphoric effect on a more healthy body. However, I no longer have the need to smoke it, as I feel invigorated anyway - Will I smoke it in the future? That's my own conscious choice. I believe that the mainstream need to consume lots of drugs and alcohol is mainly a result of the body not getting enough nutrition. Most older people are conditioned to think something is bad by the media, following a source blindly. I believe that Cannabis for example, is partially illegal in most countries because it would run pharmaceutical companies out of business due to the extreme healing properties of Cannabis when used as a raw medicine (not smoked). Special organic conditions are required to grow high-quality Cannabis plants that are fit for Cannabis oil, which has been known to cure terminal illnesses consistently, but, veganism HAS cured countless terminal cancers and illnesses and IS legal to do and easily accessible. If you're not sick, they can't make money off you. If anything, I hope this blog stimulates people to question the 'normal' societal notions and beliefs; I'm just using this plant as an example.

I think mentally labeling yourself in every action you take has negative effects on your mentality, especially if you want to achieve something and I think the best thing is to have a flexible mind set. Doing something you don't fully believe in is probably not going to work, but being open-minded definitely helps (I've seen quite a bit of elitism and ego-dynamics in the vegan community on youtube which i think alienates a lot of people from trying this lifestyle). You simply can't force your view on someone else. All or nothing is a counter-productive mindset in my opinion. Do what you want and do what makes you feel good. The more natural foods you eat, the more you'll want to do it, from my personal experience at least. The first step is to become aware of the benefits. I knew about the benefits of this lifestyle years ago, but I wasn't triggered to go down this path until my stress and depression became overwhelming in september 2013. I believe depression mostly stems from a bundle of frustrations and worries that you can't seem to rationalize, causing your brain to partially shutdown and unable to think clearly, resulting in a vicious cycle that is not easily resolved. I'm just sharing my experience and knowledge on this as i know how horrible it is to feel depressed and full of mind fog.

Videos and channels I highly recommend checking out:
clear and in-depth video about veganism: http://youtu.be/53pWSRJdCPs
Insightful videos on veganism by Freelea and Durianrider.
Powerful excerpt from 'God is in the Neurons': http://youtu.be/oPEdDcs_8ZQ?t=20m13s
Article about Mike Tyson going vegan and losing 100 lbs of fat: http://dailym.ai/1dn3gfV

I'm not a nutritionist, doctor or scientist. Everything I'm saying here are theories from personal experience combined with verifiable facts. I learn new things everyday and try to stay open minded. I'm not a huge fan of intellectual masterbation, but I wrote this article with the intent to help others. Peace :)

Twitter - Facebook

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Disclaimer: If you don't know what this thread is about, please click here.

Long version: A few weeks after I wrote the blog about arena pass not shutting down, I spoke to Marc Olbertz on the phone (eSports manager for Europe). To my surprise Blizzard came up with a pretty clever way to cover their back.

They basically said that other factors were involved into picking the 2 teams and he only mentioned the bleached bones tournament as a specific. From this alone it indicated their complete and utter incompetence towards WoW tournaments. Who the hell would pick teams based on a tournament where certain specs are banned everytime and where some teams have much bigger rosters than others. My best guess is that this is their way of rationalizing and covering up the mistake of inviting the wrong team. They always take the top 2 or 8 (for regionals), unless they are complete randoms.

Marc goes on to saying that we were the team next in place to going blizzcon in case another team from any region doesn't manage to aquire a VISA. We found out on 24th October that every team managed to get a VISA therefore we are not going. Why would we get special treatment over US teams? EU never gets special treatment like this, so once again, things felt very dodgy and felt like they were stringing us along... ok you get the picture.

Facts:

top 2 from us tr got an invite
top 2 from china regionals got an invite
top 1 from korea got an invite
top 1 from taiwan got an invte
rank 1 and rank 3 team from eu got invited - doesn't add up does it?

Blizzard can say that they adhered by the tournament rules til the cows come home but anyone with half a brain cell can see what's going on here.

Part of the phonecall with Marc. The entire call was about 20 mins and involved a ton of repetition.

Competitive PvP shouldn't have to involve politics like this and it isn't really a game I enjoy anymore. It seems as if Blizzard actually wants PvP to die out.

Also, way to go on dumbing down hunters. If the game aint as fun because the skill gap bettween good and bad hunters has been lowered dramatically then you mayaswell play runescape.
Ability_hunter_readiness

I haven't really had much reason to login to the game since this. You get the picture yo.

Activisionv22

also, I found this quite amusing. I had to text Marc for them to fix this as he always ignored skype. If this doesn't show how retarded they are i don't know what does. Gj 'eSports team'!

sfsef

efsefse

edit: blizzard accidentally showed bleached bones as rank 2 of their region. nope, we were rank 2 on arena pass. They stated they would pick "2 of the top" for blizzcon from EU and then they stated on the stream that bleached bones team was rank #2 of their region. So they basically indirectly admitted that they fucked up, there's your loophole.

blizzcon

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On tuesday 17th september I get news that blizzards esports team invites blukstack's team to the Blizzcon tournament and not us. Here's the full story:

Me, Hydra and Wowdruid sat the whole day on the last day of arena pass to make sure we finished top 2, and we did.

As it came close to the end of arena pass, we managed to secure around 2447 rating by around 2:30AM WoW time. Blukstacks team was around 15 rating behind us and was not able to get any queue pops.

The server then shuts down at, I believe, 4am CET - We were in an arena game on our alts at this time and everyone just started running on the spot. This signified to us that rated phase officially ended. It was relieving after having to sit down for 16 hours, watching every team like a hawk.

Me and others were worried as they didn't shutdown arena pass completely and it was still up the following day. Guess what - Blukstack queues up *after* arena pass rated phase ended and goes over our rating. This worried us, So we tweet Zarhym etc.. whoever possibly can confirm that rated phase did end on 27th (technically 28th @ 3-4am) normal server shutdown time. Zarhym, Nakatoir and many others confirmed this via twitter.

So it comes to 17th september, Minpojke's team gets an invite, then Blukstacks gets an invite. To me, sadly, this shows incompetence on blizzard's behalf. I'm assuming they did not check the time stamps of arena games and we are not sure why they would count arena games that occured the next day AFTER the rated phase ended.

My prediction is that Blizzard won't do anything about this. They will sit tight and do nothing and say it was 'intentional' to cover up their mistake, whereas in reality they messed up. Don't do that Blizzard - do the RIGHT thing. It is obvious that they intended to invite the top 2 teams on EU. It was NOT the top 2 teams as one of those teams gained rating after rated phase ended. Please do not do this Blizzard, I know that it is a legality saying 'we will invite 2 of the top' but we know in reality you invite the top 2.

This has left me feeling very dissapointed with Blizzard and I'm seriously considering to quit this game because if they are going to mess this up so badly, then next years Arena Pass will probably be even worse.

Edit: Clarification for those that may be confused: For the last few years the rated phase of Arena Pass has ended at 03:00 WoW time on a Wednesday. (typical server shutdown time)

Official Arena Pass schedule

update: no response from blizz yet

update2: more info coming soon

5 Comments

In the past you may have noticed that I made rather controversial videos such as "Swifty and Athene get owned", "The one shave macro" and various impersonations and generally passive-aggressive digs at other youtubers. I love stirring up controversy about petty things, however I would never do it about serious tragedy s.

I personally have nothing against other youtubers, big or small, however what I do not like is their fan boys.

I'm glad that some people unsubscribe when I make digs at other content creators because this purges out the rather stupid people with no sense of humor or rationality. No one is nice ALL the time or ALWAYS happy, you only see one side of some youtubers which could be percieved as "fake" however constant giveaways keep those little rug-rats around. OK we get it, Positivity is contagious (but negativity even more so) and you want videos to always be happy but don't you get to the point where it isn't even satisfying anymore to churn out the same passive, plain content?

The point I'm trying to make is that you can't truly be yourself in media unless you have NOTHING to lose.

For example you may be seeking validation or want to feel accepted for whatever reason. Maybe you live in a shitty country and YouTube/Streaming is your only option? Maybe you just don't like getting up at 7am everyday? Maybe validation from others makes you more secure? Maybe you want to get laid?

However, one of the drives that many of these commercial youtubers have is fear. Youtubers are CONSTANTLY worried about losing face. They are worried that people will hate them. But what's the point in showing an image that isn't a side of YOU? What's the point in being neutral and holding back? YouTube and media in general is a form of Art. You shouldn't compromise Art. It should be purely from you, and just because you'll lose one fan boy that is also subscribed to another YouTuber it doesn't matter. Overall this really doesn't matter a lot as some people seem to worry when they see subscribers drop over controversy or saying what you veritably believe.

People always ask me "what will you do when WoW dies or when you can't live off YouTube and streaming? you can't put that on your CV". My answer to that simply is: Who cares. I'm not interested in being a robot, getting a mortgage and dieing in a chair watching emmerdale. I'll take everyday as it comes. My philosophy in its simplest form is "do I genuinely enjoy what I'm doing; is it fun?". There's no point in looking so far into the future and caring so much about first world problems... I could be dead tomorrow. O.K. that sounds a bit like #YOLO but what I meant was that most people have a lot more than what they really need 😛 Consumerism...

Too many people are always worried about the financial side, however most people start off with the impulse to create. You don't want to fall into the trap of always thinking about whether or not you'll make enough cheddar to pay for bills. Money is temporary. The only real thing is people, who cares about the samsung galaxy s4? My current phone gets the job done just fine. The most satisfaction I can get is connecting with other people with mutual interets, and simply discovering new perspectives and learning new things that interest me.

What I'm trying to say is you won't get anywhere by copying other people, don't be fake, be yourself and don't force anything out - DON'T CATER TO RATS!

3 Comments

Instead of making a video I decided to write a blog about some of the 5.3 changes so far, with emphasis on the hunter changes.

Blizzard knew they would get a lot of uproar about the Scatter Shot change and it was very sneaky how it was implemented, it never appeared on MMO-champion, but merely found its way into the patch notes a few days later when someone happened to stumbled across it on PTR - this reduced potential fear and drama from players.

The scatter shot change is the make it so it shares diminishing returns with all sap/gouge/polymorph/trap etc effects.

This essentially makes it so you have to rely on web wrap or lullaby to trap. Bear in mind it is close to impossible to trap orcs with web wrap BUT against competent players it was not possible to trap CONSISTENTLY with scatter shot because of the pathing while in scatter shot (and because players skill level increased over time to eat them). Instead, we used scatter shot as bait to get ready to trap out of web wrap OR to trick enhance/elemental shamans to use grounding totem which we would then destroy before actually trapping - there were skill components to this. I think Scatter Shot should have been removed from readiness or the cooldown increased - this has made the Hunter play style boring and one-dimensional. I was looking forward to Arena Pass but now it seems that the hunter class is being overnerfed and the core abilities of the class are basically being taken away.

I tweeted Holinka my thoughts on the change but I think this was a bad thing to do. I believe if my suggestion is directly implemented then this opens the floodgates to other people expecting to have their feedback taken seriously - maybe my opinion has more weight as I've played in various tournaments but even then, Ghostcrawler clearly stated before that everyone's opinion is equal and it doesn't matter if you're 1500 or 3000 rated. Holinka on the other hand doesn't have the full say on PvP changes as I believe it only goes through if an entire team agrees.

Image from twitter (those twitter accounts are not me):

So if we've established that the change was because of the readiness CC chain, why not remove scatter shot from readiness?

Edit: If you compared BM to MM on 5.2, they have roughly the same CC but MM overall damage is much lower than BM (especially the burst). No one regards MM as too strong, why? Because of the damage.

Summary:

- Hunter burst was reduced
- Sustained increased
- Iconic ability Scatter Shot essentially removed from the game
- Intimidation removed from BM

For updates feel free to follow me on twitter.