Food for thought

I had a weird DMT experience the other day. I had one small hit and the visual hallucinations were only half there, not in total vibrancy.

So I felt just about every sensation all at once - it was quite intense and there was also a fair bit of anxiety. It was a bit like a filter had been taken off me.

With all my previous experience with meditation and psychedelics, I tried the usual notion of letting go but this time i added in the thought "experience every sensation as a learning opportunity". After I eased into this notion, out of nowhere a seemingly benevolent worm appeared and started munching through the geometric patterns I was seeing and turning them into glistening diamonds. It felt like i was at a buffet and even if it was a bit scary I didn't mind because i was basically collecting coins in mario - i was leveling up and that is what made me comfortable enough to gravitate towards the desire to embrace everything and try to understand it. If the end game of DMT is your consciousness temporarily leaving your body, then it must be the best tool available to me for just about everything. I haven't broken through to "hyperspace" yet though.

To be honest I think any anxieties i had in the past were from not understanding my environment or the world enough, coupled with a weed habit that consisted of no breaks ever (wake and bake). But I don't want to just stuff any fear of the unknown down and plaster it up with obstructions. That just prolongs the inevitable.

When you are not familiar with something it actually produces stress and fear hormones. When you are familiar it releases love hormones. (see familiarity principle). This means we can get most if not all of our comfort from understanding reality and rely less on external things. Oh i know it can be daunting at first, it's like catching up on patch notes in WoW. Also, in a recent study that I heard on Jesse Lawlers 'SmartDrugSmarts' podcast, a single dose of cortisol (which triggers stress) disrupted memory and learning in the brains and had a substantial effect on the plasticity of the sensory areas of the brain. They suspect that the increase in cortisol suppresses the longterm potentiation of the neurons that are affected. So understanding these things and having an openness to being wrong or incomplete seems to be incredibly important for overcoming resistance.

I read an article about climate change which gave me a well rounded view of a big problem. Some people say it's grim, but It made me actually feel more empowered as my richer understanding about it means that nay-sayers can't as easily displace the route i wish to take. The comment about the film "Mad Max" perhaps being a displacement for our climate anxieties especially resonated with me.

I also saw a video. It was of a man talking about many people having an "inner trump" and that we need to dismantle our ego to some extent to bring about lasting positive change, because out of ego we want to be top dog, which maybe stimulates our drive to acquire superficial stuff, instead of leaning more towards an inclusive consciousness and helping with the worlds #1 problem of cow farts changing the climate.

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